You know you are a nurse when...

You know you're a nurse when....

1) you recognize that you can't cure stupid.

2) you own at least three pens with the names of prescription medications on them (I have more than that...and a coffee cup)

3) you believe there's a special place in hell for the inventor of the call light.

4) you believe that saying 'it can't get any worse' causes it to get worse just to show you it can.

5) you wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom (a definite must)

6) you believe that any job where you can drive to work in your pajamas is a cool one. (I love scrubs)

7) you consider a tongue depressor an eating utensil (never done this one, but I guess it might work)

8) eating microwave popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural (never done this one either)

9) you've been exposed to so many x-rays that you consider it a form of birth control (not that I need it)

10) you've ever heard a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring, and twelve earrings say 'I'm afraid of shots (isn't that something?)

11) you've ever placed a bet on someone's blood alcohol level.

12) your bladder can expand to the size of a winnebago's water tank (so true! there is no time to use the bathroom!)

13) you believe that not all patients are annoying... some are unconscious

14) your family and friends refuse to watch medical sitcoms with you because you spend the whole time correcting everyone and pointing out upside down x-rays.

15) you don't get excited about blood, unless it's your own.

16) discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal is perfectly normal to you. (yes, it doesn't bother me, but it does bother everyone else)

17) your idea of fine dining is anywhere you can sit down to eat.

18) your idea of a good time is a cardiac arrest at shift change (no, not really)

19) you believe in the aerial spraying of prozac (haha...that might be nice)

20) you believe that unspeakable evils will befall anyone who utters the phrase 'Wow, it's really quiet, isn't it? (very true)

21) you have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say 'I have no idea how that got stuck in there.' (haha)

22) you've had to leave a patient's room before you begin to laugh uncontrollably.