Moving on when you don't feel like it!

Well, haven't posted in awhile. Actually, I haven't posted since the heartbreak of losing our baby at only 6 weeks. I know that God will work everything to good, all we have to do is trust in Him, however, this has been a very tough road to walk through.

I feel like I cry all the time. Why am I still crying when it happened 2 months ago? I trust Him, I really do, but my heart is hurting. I so wanted to be a mom, I thought those dreams were coming true....I already loved that jelly bean in my stomach. When they confirmed that I indeed was miscarrying, I seriously couldn't even process it. Just couldn't believe it. It is setting in more and more, but not sure how to move on.

Some days I am fine, other days I struggle, but I am so thankful that He has not left my side the entire time. He is with us wherever we go and whatever we go through! Thanks so much for all of your prayers, David and I feel them and we love you all!

Announcement!

Hard to really see on that picture, but we found out yesterday that we are expecting!!! I took about 4 tests to make sure, haven't seen a doctor yet. Such a surprise, but we are SO happy!

I am about 4 weeks pregnant, I think, so we should have the baby sometime in January. I am not posting on Facebook about it yet, but I just had to tell someone!

Please help me pray that this little one grows healthy and strong!

Pic of Daddy to Be!



Love you all!

Valentines Day!

I hope everyone had a super day yesterday. I love my husband every single day and tell him every single day, but it's nice to have a special occasion where we can focus on being gushy all day!

He bought me some gorgeous pink roses and wrote a sweet card (oh, and some chocolate). I got him a card and a really big heart shaped Reese Cup.



Then, we went to lunch at Lulu's. It is a down home kind of place but they have the BEST fried chicken. They will either cover the cutlet with gravy or cheese sauce. I got the cheese sauce and it was literally one of the best things I have ever eaten.



After that, we went and shopped around a little and waited for Miss Laila to be done at the groomers. We have never had her groomed before, but she needed it so bad, she was getting shaggy. I was a little worried about how she would do, she was shaking like a leaf when we left her. But, when we picked her up, the groomer said that she was such a sweet girl!

She got a bone for being so good and for being our valentine!



I cooked a HUGE meal for dinner including: ceasar salad, cheddar garlic biscuits, grilled chicken, fetticini alfredo, and cookies and ice cream for dessert. Wow, it was so yummy, but so rich!

All in all, it was a great day with great company! Can't wait until next year! :)

So, this has been a pretty good week. I cannot believe it is already February...hello, didn't we just have Christmas! :)

I thought I would have a little good and bad segment here on the blog. Because on a day where everything is going bad, there is still a little good!

Anyway, the bad.....



Yes, my coffee maker is not working, not even a little bit. It isn't draining right and is just making a huge mess. I have been so fed up with it that I tossed it in the trash can this morning. So, I have no coffee. Ugh, really bad.

The good?



My hubby says I can go shopping for a new one! We can't afford a really expensive one, but I am hoping to get a nicer one that my last one. It only lasted about 4 months. Not cool.


Oh and guess what else good happened this week?





Ok, so it didn't snow as much as they expected, but hey, we are in San Antonio! We got a lot of ice, though, and they had to close all the roads...but guess who didn't care at all about the cold....

Can you guess?



She was snuggled up and warm from head to paw!

Fresh Start!

Happy Tuesday, Everyone!

This past month I have been feeling so blah. Not really sick or anything, but just run down. The house (or more acurately, apartment) had gotten really cluttered and messy, we were doing a lot of take out and very little cooking, and I had a hard time getting off of the couch.

Right now, I am not working, so I was pretty much feeling like the worst wife ever. My husband never complained or anything, but I just couldn't seem to pull it together.

I am slowly starting to feel more like myself. I guess it was the combination of stress, back pain, and a lot of stuff going on in our family. Luckily, I am snapping out of it and realizing that God has it all under control and worrying about it won't do anything and just makes me depressed.



So, today I have been a cleaning maniac! That picture really could have been me, minus the nice hair and makeup. I tackled laundry, dishes, changed sheets, etc. I even dusted the ceiling fan and cleaned the microwave (which wasn't really dirty, but just felt so much better to have it scrubbed). Boy, is my hubby going to be excited and surprised when he comes home!

I also made a run to Target to stock up on groceries. I started clipping coupons again. I really only use them when I am buying the product anyway, but it saves a lot in the long run. Hello, free money! On my $60 bill, I saved almost $10, which feels really good. I need to buy some ink for my printer so that I can't print coupons from home. There are some good ones online. Yay for coupons!



Other than that, I am really trying to make better eating choices. It's hard being home so much, because I want to snack all the time! I will never be a size 2, but would love to get down to a healthy weight. I know I would feel better about myself. I also need to start exercising. We have a gym at our apartment, but it's really small and is usually pretty crowded. We are thinking about joing Planet Fitness. I was a member there for over a year during college and I loved it. It's nice to have a place with lots of equipment, tvs, and a locker room. It's pretty inexpensive too, which is really important.

Hope you all are doing well and having a blessed day!

2011

Hope everyone is having a fantastic 2011. Here are just a few pics I have taken since the beginning of the year. Hoping 2011 is going to be the best yet!





Me and the hubby at Frederisksburg! Cute little German town with lots of shops.



David and his birthday cake! Happy 26th!




New Guestroom linens.





Playing around with my new camera!




My two loves!

Work Gloves

After all the drama of moving cross country, I now realize the importance of owning a good pair of work gloves . Packing and moving boxes is hard work on your hands and can even cause carpel tunnel syndrome. When you wear a nice pair of gloves, you can stabilize your wrist and not strain your hands and muscles.

My wrists were so sore after ripping tape off of boxes last June when we moved from Alabama to Texas. I wish someone would have told me how simple it was to avoid.

100 post on this blog!

Hello, All!

I did not fall of the face of the Earth, I have just been neglecting this blog. I really want to remember to blog more often, at least once a week maybe more. We will see if I can keep up with it!

I cannot believe Christmas is over, it went by so stinkin fast! We had a quiet Christmas this year with just the two of us and it was really nice. Then, my parents came and spent the week with us. We had so much fun!

After they left, I must have caught some kind of virus because I have run fever since Sunday afternoon. Not really high, just low grade, but I just feel so blah. So, here I am...stuck on the couch and figured why not blog a little?

I have got to get this house back in order, the in-laws are coming on Thursday! YAY!

Hope everyone has a wonderful week! :)

Flu Season Over :(

So, I have been neglecting my blog because I have been really busy with work, church, housework, etc. But alas, I think I am done with flu shots this year. They even cancelled my last three days, which is not really good, because we could have used the money.

Now, I keep getting asked what I am going to do now. And you know what, I have no idea. Sure, I could probably get a job at a hospital and work on a floor, but that kind of lifestyle is hard when you are in the ministry. I really want to be with my husband as much as I can and working weekends just isn't going to work for me. Not to mention, the holidays are really important to us now that every member of our family (ALL OF THEM) are over 800 miles away.

So...if you have any ideas please share. I am looking for like a doctor's office job, or something that is Mon-Fri, but those jobs are hard to find and a lot of them require 1-2 years of hospital or acute care.

In other news, Laila got really sick yesterday and threw up about 10 times in less than an hour. We freaked and took her straight to the vet, where she got a shot for the nausea and fluids for dehydration. We were worried about what was going on and then we got a little "surprise" this morning. She pooped on her pad this morning and I noticed it looked strange. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was part of my earring that I had lost a couple days ago. It was a rather large wooden oval bead. Yeah, she swallowed the thing whole. Yeah, no wonder she was sick. So that was one pricey earring.

Anyway, I am tired. Good night all!

1st Anniversary

So one year ago today I married my best friend. I cannot believe how fast time flies. We went and spent the night on the Riverwalk last night and it was so much fun. It is just beautiful down there and we had a balcony overlooking it!

In honor of the day. Here is a list of some of the reasons I love my David!

1) He is so romantic. He loves to surprise me with dates, flowers, sweet emails, whatever he can do to let me know he loves me.
2) Whenever I am sad, I know just as soon as I get into his arms, everything will be ok.
3) When I am sick, he is the best doctor! He gives me my medicine, gets me food and drink, and takes such amazing care of me.
4) He is going to be the best dad one day. The way he loves me and Laila, he will be amazing.
5) He is so laid back about everything and is so easy to please. He doesn't mind if the house is messy and all we have for dinner is sandwhiches, so go with the flow kinda guy!
6) The way my face lights up when the phone rings and it is him. He still gives me butterflies!
7) The way he holds my hand.
8) The way he leads worship, it melts my heart.
9) When I am upset, he listens and kisses away my tears.
10) How serious he takes his job. He is such a hard worker!
11) The way I can tell him anything. He is my best friend.
12) The way he looks when he sleeps.
13) The way he does little things to take care of me, like update my internet securtiy, vacuum for me, and gets gas for me.
14) The way he insists that I drive the newer car and he drives my old Honda, even though he usually drives further than me.
15) The way he makes everything a little sweeter than it used to be, like Christmas, and other special events.
16) The way he spent the night in the hosptital with me back in March. He slept on the couch and didn't want to leave my side.
17) How honest he is...he doesn't beat around the bush.
18) The fact he still takes me on dates. Very often!
19) How much he loves my cooking and how he goes on and on about how good of a cook I am! Yeah right!
20) How much he loves God, me, and our family!

Love you, Baby!

Busy Bees

We have been SO busy over the last couple of weeks:

1) I started work. Back to giving flu shots to people at WalMart! It is SO much fun, I absolutely love it and wish I could do it year round. I meet the sweetest and most interesting people and really feel like I am helping people.

2) Laila got spayed. Oh my, it has been SO hard. Her ovaries were deeper than usual and it caused her to have a longer incision, two vets worked on her, she got cold during the surgery (they had to leave her on a heating pad), and she came home on antibiotics and pain medicine. She was so miserable for the first couple of days. I just had to hold her or she would cry. She is now back to her old spunky self. She still is taking medicine, but doesn't seem to be in any pain. She also has to wear this intertube thing around her neck to keep her from chewing her stictches. Apparently she is too small for one of those plastic cones.

3) I just recovered from a short virus or cold or something. It literally was the worst I have ever felt. I thought I was dying. High fever, cough, sore throat, and just felt so achy. I have heard there is something going around, and of course, if it's going around, I will catch it.

4) Some people don't seem to realize that I have a life even though they are not aware of the day by day events now that I moved to Texas. I am tired of only hearing from people when there is a problem and then I am expected to drop whatever I am doing to tend to it. I know this is not making much sense, but I am tired of being treated like an adult and then all of a sudden they feel like they can get on to me like a child. Ugh...anyway I am just rambling at this point.

We are doing well and trying to adjust to San Antonio. It's hard adjusting to a new role in ministry, but also a new church! We miss Kingwood so bad it physically hurts sometimes, but we are really enjoying serving Valley Hi and getting to know the people here. Thanks for all your prayers, we need them desperately!

Skype!

My Dad sent us a Webcam so we could Skype! It is so awesome being able to actually see friends and family. It is almost like a visit, I love it. I got to talk to my sweet niece, Emma, and actually see her sweet face. When we left she was only 6 months old and now she is 8 months. No telling when I will see her again, we are going home for Thanksgiving, but they will be on a cruise with Katie's parents. So, that stinks, but this helps and I am so glad to find something that helps with this homesickness!

We love San Antonio, but there is no place like home! So, if you have a Skype account look for me. My User Name is JessicaHolleyRN

Love to all!

Reasons I love my Laila!

Some of the reasons I love my puppy, Laila:

1) The way she gets so excited when we have been gone and then come back home, whether it's Dad coming home from work or us coming back from church, she is so excited. She runs around and kisses us and just the happiest puppy in the world!

2) The way she makes little sucking noises when she is asleep in my arms, she sounds like a little baby.

3) When she hears the shower curtain open she runs and licks the water off of our feet. No matter what she's doing in the house, when she hears that noise, she makes a bee line!

4) The way she loves to fetch her two stuffed bunnies. She will do it for hours, if we let her. We never even taught her to fetch, she has just always done it.

5) The way she loves to cuddle up with Mommy, she wants to lay her little head right on my cheek and catch some zzzzz's.

6) When I cry, she runs to me and licks the tears away.

7) The way she loves people. She loves anyone who comes to our door, is at the vet, or just people around the apartment complex. And of course, everyone LOVES her.

8) The way she is protective of Mommy, but when Daddy is home, she chills and knows that he will protect both of us.

9) When I drop ice, she comes and stockpiles whatever she can grab. Then she will sit down and eat them all.

10) The annoying habit she has of sniffing out the dryer sheets when I am doing laundry. She always finds it and runs away with it, in about 2 seconds flat.

11) When I say "You want a treat?" or "Want a cookie?" and she gets SO excited and wags her little tail.

12) When David tries to kiss or hug me and she has to get right in the middle of us and give us love too. She can't miss out on kisses!

13) How she curls into a little tiny ball in her bed.

14) How her little ears stick straigt up, just too funny.

15) When I am talking to David on the speaker phone and she comes over and licks the phone when she hears him.

16) How she loves us unconditionally, no matter what.

How Big Is God?

I have a book of my Meemaw's poems that she wrote many years ago. They are so encouraging and uplifting. Here is one that I have been reading the last couple of days. Hope it encourages you!

How Big Is God?

When the storms of life are beating,
And the waves are rolling high;
On the sea of life we're tossing
Does He really hear our cry?

When we're being persecuted
Those we've trusted have let us down,
They've spread doubt and vicious gossip
Is He really still around?

When the clouds of gloom hang heavy
Seems there is no sky in sight,
Wait There is a ray of sunshine
To scatter clouds and banish night.

All the time He's been there waiting
For His discouraged, stumbling child
To cry out, in faith believing
He'll bring victory, give a smile.

He's big enough to calm the waters
To bring us safely through the tests,
Yes, big enough for every problem
Never doubt, His way is best.

Schedule!

Ok, so I have been falling behind on my housework lately. Yes, I have been sick, but it was bad before then. I am not working for a few more weeks and when I am not working my job is keeping this house up. My husband was coming home to a messy house after work and that wasn't fair.

Yesterday, I started feeling better and just couldn't stand it anymore. It wasn't FILTHY, it was just cluttered and needed a deep clean. After taking my Laila to the vet, we went and bought cleaning supplies that I needed that I was running low on. I then cleaned straight for 4 hours. Wow, that is sad to say considering the size of our apartment. Washing dishes took at least an hour, because we had a problem with our dishwasher and they were covered in this white crusty stuff. (Not sure what happened, but the dishwasher is now fixed and my dishes clean after TONS of scrubbing by hand)

Some of that was laundry too...the rest was dusting, scrubbing, sweeping, mopping, etc. My husband helped with the dishes and vacuumed for me (our vacuum kills my back)I am sick of a full day like that, want my house to just stay clean. I am so happier when I have a clean house. Literally, I am in a better mood.

Anyway, I decided to start a cleaning schedule for everyday of the week. So, with less than an hour a day (sometimes a little more) my house will stay clean. I will have to work on laundry a couple times a week too, but that doesn't consume much time. Here it is:

Monday: Bathrooms (sinks, toilets, bathtubs)
Tuesday: Ironing (worst day of them all)
Wednesday: Sweep and Mop Kitchen and Bathrooms
Thursday: Kitchen (stove, all the little nooks and crannies, frig, etc)
Friday: Dust
Saturday: Windex all mirrors

Sunday is too busy to schedule anything. Really gonna try to stick to this, will make my life so much easier if I can do it!

Mean Girls...All Grown Up!

So, most of us were familiar with Mean Girls when we were growing up. In Highschool, they were the girls that picked on what you were wearing, made faces at you behind your back, and basically just made your life more difficult. But, don't we think that adult women should act better than those girls....we should never find a "mean girl" in our workplace, group of friends, or even our church, right?

The answer is wrong and is sometimes frusterating to women! Why doesn't she like me? What did I do to her? How can I get back at her? How can I expose her to others?

I sometimes worry too much about what people think of me. I am a "people pleaser", I like to make people happy. I will admit that sometimes I get frusterated when people get upset or are rude to me. But, hello, you cannot please everyone. Jesus was perfect and even He couldn't make EVERYONE like him!

I have been struggling with this for awhile now and recently started reading the devotional book "Mean Girls, All Grown Up" It really has helped me learn how to deal with people that are just, let's face it, difficult. And I am guilty of holding on to grudges against people who are mean to me. That just perpetuates the negative attitude!

It seems SO simple now when you think about it, but what is your first response when someone is rude to you or hurts you. Do you cry? Gossip about her/him? Think of a way to hurt them back? Get angry?

How about...Rejoice? Yes, I mean rejoice. That's what the Bible tells us to do! Look at this:

Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.
-1 Peter 4:12-13

So, actually, when you face adversity of ANY kind, and lets face it, a "mean girl" one form...consider it ALL joy, because God is setting you up for a blessing! Yes, but only if you do things the right way. If you do things the wrong way, you are only lowering yourself to the "mean girl's" level, you are no better than her. So when she zaps you with a good one, what do you do? You smile, you are polite, and you pray for her. It is extremely hard to do and I am not always the best at it, I will admit. But, it is the best thing you can do for yourself and for her. Remember, God will seek justice for you, it is not your job!

I would encourage every woman to read this book. We have all experienced "mean girls" and all have probably been a "mean girl" to someone else and we will be judged and rewarded at how we respond!

Pet Peeves

I have quite a few "quirks", I guess you could call them that. Or maybe I am just plain weird. Here are some of my pet peeves/quirks:

1) Spoons from restaurants...just thinking about all the people I don't know putting their lips on the same spoon just grosses me out...I always try to find a plastic spoon or just hardly let my lips touch the spoon
2) Couples that are SO clingy...this annoys me. I love my husband, but I do not hang all over him in public. Holding hands or a quick peck is just fine.
3) Parents who brings their kids to a movie theater and lets them just scream the whole time. Seriously? We paid to watch this movie!
4) Odd number dates. I hate any date that ends in an odd number...except for fives. Because you can count by fives. I know this is very stupid, but I can't help it...I would never choose a wedding day that ended in a 1,3,7, or 9. September 25 is fine, though. Explaining this during wedding planning is very hard, BTW, they all looked at me as if I was crazy. Maybe I am.
5) People who always say they have no money and always seem to be struggling, but then you see them with IPhones or expensive new clothes or even a new car. I know it is none of my business, but do they just not get it?
6) When you smile at someone and they do not smile back. That is just plain rude and it makes me mad!
7) Cotton balls...I hate the feel of them. Pulling one apart just gives me the willies. I can't stand it.
8) Fake people...people that smile at you or are really sweet to your face, but it it just feels very fake...can't stand this, would rather them just not even smile at all.
9) Drawn on eyebrows. Do they really think they are fooling anyone?
10)Fake flowers. Hate them...now, I do have some fake greenery in a vase on my mantle, but that's as close as I can get. I just do not see the point in fake flowers. Yuck, why? Just why?

Nap, Toothbrushes, Shrek, & Bubbles

Today has been a nice lazy day. I love that my husband has Fridays off. It is so nice having extra time to lay around, watch tv, and just chill with each other.

We spent the morning with Laila and in our jammies. It was awesome. We watched I Love Lucy, Everybody Loves Raymond, and Racheal Ray. We ate lunch here and just chilled. After lunch, I napped. It was a great nap, I woke up with a lot of energy and not feeling yucky, like I do sometimes after a nap.

Then we went to Target. It was one of those midweek trips for all the little things you realized you were out of and needed before the next grocery run. Our list included: new toothbrushes, toilet paper, mouthwash, and dryer sheets. Exciting, I know. David also bought me a new purse that was only $10 and is super cute.

Next we went to the dollar movies. We have this dollar theater (well, actually $1.50) that is fairly nice, close to home, and is such a cheap way to have a little fun. We saw the new Shrek! It was really cute and also kind of sad that this is the last one.

After that, we headed home to free Laila! David decided to take a shower and then give her a bath. Well, she got away from him and ran to me in the living room soaking wet and freaked out. Poor baby, I wrapped her in a towel and held her for a few minutes. Next thing I know, David is calling to me telling me to come to the bathroom for a minute. I relunctantly went in and was amazed at what I saw:

-A bubble bath drawn that was piping hot
-My robe hanging on the hook waiting on me
-A towel for my head to rest on
-Candles
-A book

We have one of those really big bathtubs. I love it, one of my favorite things about our apartment. David knows how much I love bubble baths but he has never set one up for me before. He then left me in peace and I just got to relax. After a few minutes, he came back with a big glass of diet coke! Ahh, my husband is the bomb. He rocks. I soaked in that tub for at least 45 minutes, maybe longer. I feel so relazed, perfect end to a perfect day!

A Lucy Find!

Ok...look what I found at Ross!! OMG, I just had to get it, of course, I did not NEED it, but how could you turn this down for only $5.99?

The only thing that makes me a little sad is this saying is SO true and I miss all my friends and family. Nothing better than a cup of coffee with a friend. But anyway, how cute is my new travel mug! Thanks David for agreeing that I just "had" to get it! I love you!

Things I miss in Bama!

Here is a list of everyone and everything I miss about Alabama, in no particular order!

1) My Parents
2) Emma Sue
3) My brothers
4) My Sister in law, Katie
5) Kingwood Church
6) Friends that I have had since childhood
7) The small town feel of Alabaster, SA is a BIG city!
8) Worship at Kingwood
9) Our Sunday School class
10) Publix
11) Any place with white cheese dip, here we only have yellow!
12) The Galleria
13) My doctor...I need to find a good one here
14) Sunday lunch with the family
15) Sno Biz
16) Moes, can't believe they don't have one here :(
17) Having friends and family close by to hang out with
18) Joes Italian, man, no place like this exists anywhere else!
19) Helping out in Epoch and our small groups
20) Seeing familar faces around town, not sure if that will EVER happen here, just so big

We are loving SA, but there is no place like HOME!